And I'm gonna delay it 'till saturday (which is actually today already here (saturday 0:06 am here)) 'cause I was busy cause I finished downloading a torrent of The Complete Lost Lennon Tapes Vol. 1 - 22 and I was busy listening to some stuff on it. It'll be saturday for sure, it's not gonna be in three months and a half like last time. But I'll make it worth the wait. I promise.
Oh, and PS, Frighty: you made me curious
Last Edit: Jan 7, 2006 13:00:37 GMT -5 by TPIMaster
The final chapter will arrive after 11 months. I've kinda been out of the whole scene (not the Beatles-scene of course), so forgive me if it's not as good as the other parts were, as I've been working on an other script for a series I'm creating. It should be up tomorrow. It won't have a real conclusion though, as the PID story continues for a long time as you all know ;D
Last Edit: Nov 21, 2006 16:52:24 GMT -5 by TPIMaster
Welcome, to the sixth and final chapter of a psychedelic history never told. The history of... "Paul Is Dead, the untold TRUE story"
As usually, we continue where we left off.
Ringo: Absolutely not. It's on my 'to not do list'! Right up there with "I won't do a tv show where I play a conductor of an imaginary train and then occasionally show myself to a young child."
John: Well, we'll have to deal with his death anyways. And making Teddy Boy look like Paul won't be that difficult. After all, he was of course bald. You can't have hair down to your knees and not be bald! Everybody knows that, it's dead logical! So we'll just give Teddy Paul's wig.
Bill: My name is Bill, not Teddy Paul.
Ringo: Indeed, John. George, what do you think?
Harrison: I don't know. I mean, come on. If the word gets out that we replaced him and we would like for example do something called "aging", people would think that we'd be replaced too and then we'd have an army of people calling us dead!
John: Hmmm, you've got a point there. Then people would send us messages going like "We was right when we said you was dead"-nonsense along with "How do you sleep night, brother?". I mean, if I were to receive such messages like that, I'd have a difficult time.
Martin: Just say yes. You could always use the extra cash! I mean, you already have like a few thousands of dollars for giving up your lives, why not make some more money by giving up Paul's life and giving some other guy's life up to make a new Paul?
Ringo: That is the most sence I've ever heard a guy say. I think I can speak for all of us that we agree.
Neil: Great, great. Now, start working on them clues now, chop chop!
John: I've got one! We all know that a person's face is always symmetrical! So what if we doctor Paul's face on photographs to make it asymmetrical? I bet no one will think of that! And then later with technology, they could put one side to the other, to see the two faces, which will both look totally normal and realistic!
Neil: Brilliant! Just completely brilliant! Just out of curiousity, how do you doctor someone's face?
John: I dunno. George?
Harrison: Beats me.
Ringo: Haha, if you add an l and an e after the t, you get "Beatles me".
Harrison stares at Ringo for 27 minutes and 51 seconds before starting to talk again.
Harrison: Anywaaays... I don't even know what you mean with doctoring a face. Maybe it means putting a doctor's mask in front of it?
John: But you're not a doctor with just a doctor's mask in front of your face!
Ringo: Maybe they also add a name tag saying that the person with the mask is a doctor.
Neil: You know what, with our connections with the government, I don't think there'll be a problem with that "doctoring", they'll of course have secret technology ready for us to use. I'm sure our good old government will do anything for us.
Martin: Guys, on topic please?
Mal: Might I suggest an idea?
John: Perhaps. Might I suggest a brownie-fest?
Mal: Yes you can.
John: Well, then you can tell us your suggestion.
Mal: Well, you know, John, before your brownie-addiction, you loved something else than brownies. Recording something and then play it backwards. You know, like on Rain.
John: Oh yeah. Haha, I remember that. Funny thing is that when you reverse something, you could say just about anything and when playing it backwards, you could always hear something. I mean, I'll just say something crazy like "Bliss ip, bliss ip, bliss ip, habub zanob.". If you were to record that, and give that tape to the right idiot, he could play it backwards and would hear whatever he wants to hear, like "Paul is a dead man, miss him, miss him, miss him" or something crazy!
Martin: Oh John, you crack me up, you lunatic!
Neil: So we've got "doctoring" photographs and backwards messages. What else?
Ringo: Album covers! We've already established the fact that we should put a whole lot of things on there that don't mean anything, so why not put a few things on there that actually DO mean anything, like Paul's death!
Harrison: How about we make a huge album cover with a lot of details in it, like flowers shaped like stuff and a drum with a lot of hidden stuff, and a little car and a tv put somewhere, and make them all mean nothing, but then put a little paper in the back hidden somewhere saying that Paul and Brian are dead?
Martin: Brilliant! Oh yes, guys. I got a little more detail on the whole Brian replacement-thing. I was on the phone just now, and turns out there's no such things as secret illuminati plastic surgery and make-up prostheses which you both can undo very simple.
Martin: Yes, so now the solution is that Brian will be replaced by Don Knotts. Andy Griffith will replace Don Knotts and Andy will be replaced by Larry King. Larry will be replaced by a midget with glasses!
John: Brilliant! No one will ever see the difference! Everything is working out nicely! Now, I've got a B.A. meeting (Brownielovers Anonymous), so I should go.
Harrison: Yeah, and I want to go to sleep.
Ringo: And I've got to go do some modelling.
John: Haha modelling. Good luck with that.
Ringo: What do you mean?
John: Well, you've got that uhm... how should I say this... Weird mustache. Oh yes, speaking of facial hair, how about we also put a little clue in that every time we have a beard, Paul doesn't and vice versa.
Martin: Very nice, John! Keep up the good work! Now go to your B.A. meeting.
John: I will. See you guys.
Ringo: See ya.
Harrison: Bye John.
Martin: Good talk, John.
And that is the ORIGINAL TRUE PID story! This is how it all became to be!
Last Edit: Nov 22, 2006 14:39:23 GMT -5 by TPIMaster
I just did a little rewrite of the third chapter and included an incredible plot twist (that is not mentioned in the later parts as a result, but hey, screw continuity ) and a surprise mention of a local celebrity!
Go read the third chapter and then my rewrite and you'll see it's a real improvement. I'm not reposting the entire episode, just the part that I rewrote and a few lines before and after it. Here it is! __________________________________
Ringo: "Hi Mal. Guess what?"
Mal:: "A Beatles single only made it to number two cause of a one hit wonder with an unlucky name?"
Harrison: "No. That's just stupid, what you said."
Mal: "Paul and Brian are dead?"
Mal: "Oh goodie, what are we going to do now? Plus, you've got a press conference later on today!"
Martin: "Cancel it."
Mal: "What reason should I tell?"
John: "Tell the press that we couldn't come cause we were all poisoned by bad scrambled eggs and we now have IBS."
Mal: "Okay, will do."
Ringo: "Wow, that's a good excuse. Amazing you made that up on the spot."
* John doesn't respond. *
Martin: "We have to cover it up."
John: "Cover it up? We're using it as an excuse for not going to the press conference! That's not a good way of covering it up, now is it!"
Martin: "No, John, I'm talking about the deaths. We don't have IBS from eating bad scrambled eggs."
John: "No... Of course we don't..."
* We cut back to a full profile of John, he loosens up his pants and it is revealed that he's wearing a diaper. *
Ringo: "What's that smell? Smells like someone in here took a shower with toilet water and then washed himself with horse manure."
John: "Excuse me."
* John runs off to the EMI public bathroom. George Martin follows him. Outside the door, a cleaning lady is seen throwing away a can labelled "Beatles EMI building photo shoot for Please Please Me album cover. DON'T THROW IT AWAY" John is inside a toilet cabin, George is gushing some water in his face at the wash basins."
Martin: "John, I realise this must be very difficult for you. I too am feeling a bit sick now and have had some problems with my bowels aswell. But still, I would appreciate it if you quit with the whole brownie thi--"
Oct 10, 2013 11:34:23 GMT -5
KnightBus: What exactly, in your opinion, makes that channel great?
Nov 14, 2013 18:23:26 GMT -5
Illuminati Headquarters: I guess we pretty much won. Extra bonus payment for everyone.
Apr 28, 2014 21:25:47 GMT -5
chantal: HELP! I distinctly remember seeing an animated GIF in someone's signature, of Paul saying "stupid". I'd like to nick that one for my Beatles GIFs Pinterest board. Where can I find it?
Mar 28, 2015 13:13:08 GMT -5
KnightBus: Was it dakudos avatar?
Oct 21, 2016 23:40:22 GMT -5
aieahaole48: LOVE YOUR HUMOR RE THE PAUL/'FAUL' ISSUE! First time I've laughed out loud since I was widowed in 2012. YES, the pic of Paul with the black woman was from '66, during the Beatles U.S. tour - she was one of the Ronettes, one of the opening acts.
Jan 20, 2017 0:59:12 GMT -5
KnightBus: A humble shout to all those of you who've been in the funhouse and to those who were. I really appreciate all the picture hunting and research you've done and you as a great community, also on various groups on Facebook.
Mar 5, 2017 5:25:39 GMT -5
NowhereMan: Is anybody up in this?
Aug 25, 2018 18:57:06 GMT -5
KnightBus: Yeah! Stopping by every once in a while.
Oct 4, 2018 17:48:19 GMT -5
NowhereMan: R.I.P. Paul Is Dead hoax. Greetings to the MFH board. You are amazing!
Aug 25, 2019 15:24:05 GMT -5